I recently read an article in The National Post about the changing relationship between Canada and the USA – and more importantly between Canadians and Americans. The key message in the article was about how relationships change if there is a change in trust between parties.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, trust is defined as: “… assured reliance on the character, ability, strength or truth of someone or something.” If we consider trust within a relationship it means:

 “Trust in a relationship is the belief in a partner’s honesty, loyalty and reliability. It’s the feeling of security and confidence that your partner will not intentionally hurt or violate you and that you can rely on them. Essentially, trust is built on the foundation of consistent actions that align with one’s words and a shared understanding of values and boundaries.”

The National Post article zeroed in on the change in the level of trust that has existed for decades and decades between our two countries. It also highlighted that the change in the level of trust was due primarily to the words and actions of one person – not the country as a whole. Yet the relationship between both countries has now been severely damaged. If one’s actions result in the breaking of trust, the whole relationship is dramatically altered. This has become quite evident in the change in rhetoric, the change in travel plans, the change in purchasing, the change in behaviours and the changes in attitudes between our two countries.

Another recent issue that highlights the importance of maintaining a trustful relationship is the contract negotiation process currently going on between Canada Post and its’ employees’ union. When trust is low or non-existent, negotiations between parties becomes acrimonious. We see this in the world of employment, in the world of governance, in the world of global politics and in the world of personal relationships.

Years ago, while developing a workshop on the topic of trust, I crafted this acronym:

TRUST – T (he) R (isk) U S (hould) T (ake)

It is risky to begin to form trust, because you are never quite sure whether your initiative will be reciprocated by the other party. You put yourself out on a limb. But until one party actually initiates the process, the relationship will always be cautious at best, or possibly strained.

While it takes a long time to build trust, it can be lost in an instant. One misguided comment or action can lead to a fracturing of trust. And once trust is lost, rebuilding it is one of the most difficult tasks imaginable. We should never take trust for granted. Like a good flower garden, it needs to be watered and nourished and tended, in order for it to thrive. Trust is the foundation of every valuable relationship. This is a critical lesson that each of us needs to learn, to cherish and to practice. Trust is what makes the world go round!

                        “Trust is earned, respect is given and loyalty is demonstrated.
Betrayal of any one of those is to lose all three.”

                                                                       (Ziad K. Abdelnour)

Jim McKinlay
President